still cant forget the lie she did. she doesnt know that i knew she lied to me. no second thoughts! she has changed. maybe she did it,just like i did before. sweet revenge it is for me, coz i know its working.
my question is, why revenge? am i not worth it. what else do i need to give up to show you that youre more imporatnt.
if u cant be with him while m around, then fine. no problem with me. i just dont know why you have to reason out when things are bout him. if this is your revenge, then ill accept.
but how will i know? im scared of asking you. m scared of loosing you more than loosing ur partner as my frnd. and honestly, i feel like you dont care about me anymore. just like revenge! damn it. talk to me.
i just cant take this any longer and if another lie will happen again and is about him.
anything that happens once will never happen again, but anything that happens twice will surely happen for a third time.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
revenge?
i proved her that our friendship is more important even if know it was to0 late. but i did my best. i chose her from the other choice that i know will truly make me happy but i refused, just to show her that she's more valuable for me.
maybe, my best wasnt d best for her. i know for myself, i did a lot of shit on her! pero pinagsisihan q n un. dat's why i gave up my happines for her own happiness, that's how much i treasure her,, i hope she'll find d reality in all my sacrifices. i just don't know if she's seeing it or was just not able to see or was not interested to see.
a lie that she did for the 1st time to me really hitted me badly.
i dont know what to say or to react. i just thought that maybe she's trying to d same thing that i did her before na sobrang pngcchan ko p rn that's y m now suffering n still sacrificing.. or maybe der's another rison, i just dont know y she lied.
i have no problem weder where she likes to go with or without me, i just cant take the fact that she really lied!
i tried to ask her frankly, but i was scared.. scared of bka mgkagulo nnmn.
maybe this is just the right consequence for wat i did to her b4..but that's not her, n i know it!
m so confused, can't think of nything else but the issue.
mahal, do u have any problem wd me?! please, tell me.
ur bein' missed a lot!
m doin' best to not disappoint u, i dont know wat ur thinkin'.. i felt a gap between us since d text issue. please speak ur mind.
love u. take care.
maybe, my best wasnt d best for her. i know for myself, i did a lot of shit on her! pero pinagsisihan q n un. dat's why i gave up my happines for her own happiness, that's how much i treasure her,, i hope she'll find d reality in all my sacrifices. i just don't know if she's seeing it or was just not able to see or was not interested to see.
a lie that she did for the 1st time to me really hitted me badly.
i dont know what to say or to react. i just thought that maybe she's trying to d same thing that i did her before na sobrang pngcchan ko p rn that's y m now suffering n still sacrificing.. or maybe der's another rison, i just dont know y she lied.
i have no problem weder where she likes to go with or without me, i just cant take the fact that she really lied!
i tried to ask her frankly, but i was scared.. scared of bka mgkagulo nnmn.
maybe this is just the right consequence for wat i did to her b4..but that's not her, n i know it!
m so confused, can't think of nything else but the issue.
mahal, do u have any problem wd me?! please, tell me.
ur bein' missed a lot!
m doin' best to not disappoint u, i dont know wat ur thinkin'.. i felt a gap between us since d text issue. please speak ur mind.
love u. take care.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
HAPPY EASTER!!
happy easter to all of guys..
hope u we're all able to reflect on all of your sins this holy week.
truly GOD is powerful and merciful, that's why he died for all of our sins.
HE LOVES us all.
So if u think ur alone, think TWICE, 'coz ever since HE didn't left you..maybe u did.
THINK about it.
hope u we're all able to reflect on all of your sins this holy week.
truly GOD is powerful and merciful, that's why he died for all of our sins.
HE LOVES us all.
So if u think ur alone, think TWICE, 'coz ever since HE didn't left you..maybe u did.
THINK about it.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
mahal,
Cguro nga may MG ako.. kaw lng nkakaintindi skin palagi,..ngaun, cguro pagod k na kakaintindi skin, pero d kita masisisi, at hindi din kita minamadaling makalimot at gad dun sa nangyare. Pero gusto ko lng sbhin sau na, sana walang mgbago sa closeness ntin.. npka corny man pkinggan, pero d ko nmn alam kung pano hindi pacornihin eh. Wag sanag mgbago ang turin mo skin gaya ng pgbbago mo kay dada dati nung hindi xa nkpunta sa bday mo dhil may pinuntahan xang iba..
Hindi ko n din alam kung pano iexplain ang sarili ko sau, pero cguro kung wala ka hindi q maiisip ang mga kagagahan ko, ayaw kong mgbitiw ng salita n I will promise something to prove to you na sincere at sobrang pinagsisisihn ko ung ginwa ko sau, cguro sa iba ngagawa ko un ng matagalan pero marealze ko iba sila sau, mas nafeel ko ung luv mo skin at hindi ang luv with concern.. more dan friends less dan lovers nga dba?! Kso as of d moment d ko alam kung ganun k p rin skin..
Naiintndhan ko din nmn kung bkit hindi ka ngsasalit maxado ng nsa isip mo dhil ganun k nmn tlga, kso kung anu-ano tumtakbo sa utak ko, d q alam kung ano tlga ang gusto mong sbhin skin,.
Mahal, honestly, I feel guilty, and I think that’s worth it enough as your revenge skin.. your kindness kills me! Sobra.
Aaminin ko may gusto ako kay rhen, crush ko n xa nung una ko xang nkita, kso hinsi ko lng maamin sa sarili ko, d q alam kung bkit,. Den nung nlaman ko na parang ngiging close n kau nung umpisa p lng, tinigilan ko n ung nafifil ko, kso nung cnabi nya na my gusto xa skin, parng bumalik ung nafifil ko na prang gusto ko din xa, hanggang sa ngkagulo n.. npa-expect ako sa knya mula nung cnabi nya un khit n alam kong hindi dapat. Nging self-centered ako sa nafifil ko at hindi kita inisip, pero hindi naman ako nging ganun all d time, alam mo yan.. tinry kong lumayo pra wag ng maulit ung una kong pagkakamali. Pero parang d more n palagi ko xang nkikta, lalo akong ngfafall hindi ko lng inaamin dhil bka mgkagulo nnmn.. ayaw ko ng maguluhan ka kc alam kung sinasarili mo lhat,
Nung araw na ngtext ako sa knya n mgkksma tau, ngwa ko un dhil ngeexpect ako na may something nga between us, kso after din nun tska ko lng nalaman na gaguhan lng pla. Nahurt din ako xempre pero mas nasasaktan at naasar ako dhil ang tanga ko dhil sana inamin ko n lng nung una pa para hindi nging gnito. Nsaktan tuloy kita na dapat ay hindi!
Mahal.. I lorve u. alam mo yan! Maybe I got the guts of doing it from my feeling of lack of affection and satisfaction in life kasi nga hindi ako dapat gnito! Ung ntrarabaho kasi my anak n ako lng lhat. Kso eto na, hindi ko na mbblik pa. I was just so blinded by candy at hindi ko nkikita ang mga blessings sa paligid ko.
Narealize ko n un lhat, kso nga lng medyo late na.. pero dba better late than never.
Hope u understand mahal even if it’ll take you time to do so. Hindi ko rin gustong sirain kaung dlawa n candy just to get what I expect to have. Kaya nga hindi ko inamin ung feelings ko kc ayaw kong masira ang happiness mo wen ur wid him. Cguro nga expectation lng ung lhat skin!
M sori mahal, pingsisihan ko n ‘tong lhat, maniwala ko man o hindi.
Lorve u always. At khit klan n u nid me khit sang bagay d2 p rin ako 4 u! nothing will change! Hope u won’t change too!.
Hindi ko n din alam kung pano iexplain ang sarili ko sau, pero cguro kung wala ka hindi q maiisip ang mga kagagahan ko, ayaw kong mgbitiw ng salita n I will promise something to prove to you na sincere at sobrang pinagsisisihn ko ung ginwa ko sau, cguro sa iba ngagawa ko un ng matagalan pero marealze ko iba sila sau, mas nafeel ko ung luv mo skin at hindi ang luv with concern.. more dan friends less dan lovers nga dba?! Kso as of d moment d ko alam kung ganun k p rin skin..
Naiintndhan ko din nmn kung bkit hindi ka ngsasalit maxado ng nsa isip mo dhil ganun k nmn tlga, kso kung anu-ano tumtakbo sa utak ko, d q alam kung ano tlga ang gusto mong sbhin skin,.
Mahal, honestly, I feel guilty, and I think that’s worth it enough as your revenge skin.. your kindness kills me! Sobra.
Aaminin ko may gusto ako kay rhen, crush ko n xa nung una ko xang nkita, kso hinsi ko lng maamin sa sarili ko, d q alam kung bkit,. Den nung nlaman ko na parang ngiging close n kau nung umpisa p lng, tinigilan ko n ung nafifil ko, kso nung cnabi nya na my gusto xa skin, parng bumalik ung nafifil ko na prang gusto ko din xa, hanggang sa ngkagulo n.. npa-expect ako sa knya mula nung cnabi nya un khit n alam kong hindi dapat. Nging self-centered ako sa nafifil ko at hindi kita inisip, pero hindi naman ako nging ganun all d time, alam mo yan.. tinry kong lumayo pra wag ng maulit ung una kong pagkakamali. Pero parang d more n palagi ko xang nkikta, lalo akong ngfafall hindi ko lng inaamin dhil bka mgkagulo nnmn.. ayaw ko ng maguluhan ka kc alam kung sinasarili mo lhat,
Nung araw na ngtext ako sa knya n mgkksma tau, ngwa ko un dhil ngeexpect ako na may something nga between us, kso after din nun tska ko lng nalaman na gaguhan lng pla. Nahurt din ako xempre pero mas nasasaktan at naasar ako dhil ang tanga ko dhil sana inamin ko n lng nung una pa para hindi nging gnito. Nsaktan tuloy kita na dapat ay hindi!
Mahal.. I lorve u. alam mo yan! Maybe I got the guts of doing it from my feeling of lack of affection and satisfaction in life kasi nga hindi ako dapat gnito! Ung ntrarabaho kasi my anak n ako lng lhat. Kso eto na, hindi ko na mbblik pa. I was just so blinded by candy at hindi ko nkikita ang mga blessings sa paligid ko.
Narealize ko n un lhat, kso nga lng medyo late na.. pero dba better late than never.
Hope u understand mahal even if it’ll take you time to do so. Hindi ko rin gustong sirain kaung dlawa n candy just to get what I expect to have. Kaya nga hindi ko inamin ung feelings ko kc ayaw kong masira ang happiness mo wen ur wid him. Cguro nga expectation lng ung lhat skin!
M sori mahal, pingsisihan ko n ‘tong lhat, maniwala ko man o hindi.
Lorve u always. At khit klan n u nid me khit sang bagay d2 p rin ako 4 u! nothing will change! Hope u won’t change too!.
candy,
feb 10, saturday..wala kming mgwa ni mahal kaya sabi ko kay kuya quin dalhin nya kmi dun sa ipapakilala nya sakin na ikaw pala un..
nung nkita n kita, sbi ko sa sarili ko
"zhet! ang ganda nya kung gurl xa..hehe"
tapos sumakay ka sa car, hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko pero kinakabahan talga ako nun. den hinintay k nmin kc sabi mo liligo ka lng kso ang tagal mo nmn. ngpunta tau ng padi's, nabanggit n kuya quin n ex mo daw pla c fae, na-shock ako nung una pero aus lng.. wala akong ginawa nun kundi tumitig sau ng d mo alam. after nun hinatid k nmn sa inyo pero b4 p nun ngpunta muna tau kila fae ÜÜ hehe..
pgbaba mo ng car, crush n kita! kaso d q maamin sa sarili ko. tinanong ako nila she at mahal kung type b daw kita o hindi.. kso hindi ako ngreact.. tapos sbi ni mahal..
MAHAL: mahal, ano ayaw mo? cute nmn xa ahh, kc kung ayaw mo akin n lng xa..
ILDZ: hindi ahh, wala akong sinabi n ayaw ko.(nka-smile)
feb 12
nsa skul ako, yosi break muna kaya dinaanan ko c mahal sa rum nya..ngkwento xa about sa nstp nya..den sabi nya ngpunta xa sainyo ksma c kuya quinn, nagulat ako kc bakit ganun, tapos may pinuntahan pa daw keo at pinanood nyo ung sunset.. d ko alam kung anong dpt kong mafeel nung kinuwento nya un, basta quiet n lng ako kc mukhang masay nmn c mahal.. kya pinabayaan ko n lng na kaung dalwa n ung mg get in touch 2gder.
feb 15
textmates na keo. pinapunta k nya sa bhay para sumama smin d whole day.. kinuha ntin ung boots ko den ung gown den balik sa bhay nmin.. tapos punta sa ust para sunduin ang iba nming frnds tapos kila queen nmn tau ngpunta para kumain saglit tapos sa practice nmn ng sayaw k nmin dinala.. during these times wala lng skin kung ano mang meron between u n mahal..ng panggap k p ngang pinsan ko kc hindi k pa kilala sa bahay nila mahal, dba?! hehe.. hanggang sa bahay k n nmin natulog..
feb 23
ngkita tau ulit ksma mo c fonzy.. hinatid nyo ako sa bahay pati sa skyan ng bus ppntng Laguna.. ang kulit p nga n fonzy, ayaw n akong paalisin, kc delikado daw..hehe kso makulit ako, kaya wala xang ngawa.
feb 27
nguguluhan n c mahal seo kc parang wala k nmng pakialam s knya. tapos sinabi mong my gusto ko n din skin pero nililigwan mo xa. honestly, na gulat ako! pero d feeling is mutual tinatago ko lng dhil mahal was expecting dat der was somethin' already between u two. kaya ngkunwarian n lng ako n wala akong naramdaman dun sa sinabi mo pero ang toto0, sobrang happy ako nung nalaman ko un..
nung cnabi ko kay mahal un, nasad xa.. sbi nya ok lng daw. pero alam kong hindi xa ok kc npa-expect n xa nung umpisa p lng, kya ako n ung lumayo..
pero ever since then hindi n nwala s isip ko un..
march 2
ÜÜ baha ng alak sa bhay mo! bday mo kc. hehe.. super excited n akong mkita ka ulit nun, hindi ko alam kung bkit. pgdating nmin sainyo, nashock kme sa dmi ng tao. pero aus lng masaya nmn eh. ang dami ngang hottie nung bday mo!hehe.hanggang inantok ako sa dami ng alak hanggang sa natulog na ako sa taas,.tapos.........
dun ko 1st time nkita c nick..hehe
march 4
my nkita si mahal sakin habang gumgwa ako ng avp para sa project..
MAHAL: ano yan?
ILDZ: (busy sa harap ng pc) alin?
MAHAL: yang nsa leeg mo? chikinini yan dba?!
ILDZ: huh? (shocked)
MAHAL: wag mo ng ideny? san at kanino galing yan?!
ILDZ: ano? (d alam sasabihin)
MAHAL: mahal! isa! knino nga?!
ILDZ: huh? mahal!!!!!
MAHAL: ano?!?!
ILDZ: mahal!! putang ina!!........
MAHAL: oh bkit??!
ILDZ: tangina mahal kay rhen!
MAHAL: huh?! ahh.. owkei. (sabay walkout)
medyo nagalit c mahal at d alam ssbhin sa narinig nyang cnabi ko. hanggang sa hindi n xa ngsalita, tapos bigla k pang tumwag sa celfone nya,.. after 1 hour lumapit skin c mahal tapos ngbati n kmi.. akala ko hindi na..hai..
march 5
1st time akong tnext ni nick!..wala lng.
march 7
last day ng rehearsals ko para sa dance concert, kso d n ako nkpunta kc ngpunta keo s bhay nmin ksma si nick, kya pumyag n ako..hehe, smin din keo natulog.. ng cut c mahal ng classes para maksunod sa bhay, 1st time q din c nick nksama nun.. hehe, wla lng.. den kinabukasan..
march 8
bday ko na!! hehe.. umuwi n din keo agad kc ang aga kung umalis dhil nga sa concert,. hinatid mo p nga aq sa gateway kc ang dami kong dala.,.hehe.. thnk u po.
march 9
kau n ni mahal.. d ko alam kung pano, bsta kau nlng bigla.. hai..
march 13
ngpunta kmi ni mahal sinyo, c nick lng ksma mo nun, kso umalis din xa ngpunta xa kila melody, tapos nginom tau,.. umalis ka at ntulog na pala,.. at kung anu-ano pa! waaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
dumtaing c kuya quinn para sunduin kmi, may amats kmi pareho ni mahal, as in sobra! c nick dumating nung pgkaalis nmin,.. tapos ngcing n lng ako nsa taxi n aq sa tpat ng compound nmin..
kinabukasan, tnxt ako n mhal nnwakaw daw ung mp4 nya sainyo.. hai,.sobrang nkakaloka ang araw na toh!
march 21
walang pasok c mahal, ngpunta kau ulit smin.,khit my exam ako.. walang inuman n nganap kc during exams ko andun keo sainyo..Ü kumakain ng pizza..
march 23
nginom kami smin, ktatapos lng kc ng exam ni mahal, ksma c zhe, anna, aq at c mahal lng.. sumunod kaung dalwa ni fonzy.. my amats din ako nun, at my ngwa nnmn akong d mganda! hai, lagi n lng.. may ngalit tuloy skin! hmp.
march 27
ksma ko c tor tska c kian..
march 31
ngpunta kmi ni mhal ulit sinyo.. dpat sa antipolo kmi kso ayaw ni kuya quinn bka daw mahuli kmi kc election season daw ngaun.. at xempre, dhil taung tatlo lng nun nginom nnmn tau..
ngtext ako, tapos nkiramdam c mahal, kaya hinram nya ung fone mu at aun!..haha! galit n xa skin! nung pauwi n kmi, kinuha o nya ug gamit sa sasakyan at inwan sa bhay mo, aq nmn si takbo para kunin at mkasakay n kso ayaw akong pasakayin ni mhal, ayaw akong iwan ni kuya quinn kaya nkasakay din ako at hintaid sa may kanto..
habang nsa car, may amats n c mahal, hindi mkausap ng matino, at halatang may galit n skin! kso d nya maiicip kung mggalit b xa o hindi!..
nung nkita n kita, sbi ko sa sarili ko
"zhet! ang ganda nya kung gurl xa..hehe"
tapos sumakay ka sa car, hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko pero kinakabahan talga ako nun. den hinintay k nmin kc sabi mo liligo ka lng kso ang tagal mo nmn. ngpunta tau ng padi's, nabanggit n kuya quin n ex mo daw pla c fae, na-shock ako nung una pero aus lng.. wala akong ginawa nun kundi tumitig sau ng d mo alam. after nun hinatid k nmn sa inyo pero b4 p nun ngpunta muna tau kila fae ÜÜ hehe..
pgbaba mo ng car, crush n kita! kaso d q maamin sa sarili ko. tinanong ako nila she at mahal kung type b daw kita o hindi.. kso hindi ako ngreact.. tapos sbi ni mahal..
MAHAL: mahal, ano ayaw mo? cute nmn xa ahh, kc kung ayaw mo akin n lng xa..
ILDZ: hindi ahh, wala akong sinabi n ayaw ko.(nka-smile)
feb 12
nsa skul ako, yosi break muna kaya dinaanan ko c mahal sa rum nya..ngkwento xa about sa nstp nya..den sabi nya ngpunta xa sainyo ksma c kuya quinn, nagulat ako kc bakit ganun, tapos may pinuntahan pa daw keo at pinanood nyo ung sunset.. d ko alam kung anong dpt kong mafeel nung kinuwento nya un, basta quiet n lng ako kc mukhang masay nmn c mahal.. kya pinabayaan ko n lng na kaung dalwa n ung mg get in touch 2gder.
feb 15
textmates na keo. pinapunta k nya sa bhay para sumama smin d whole day.. kinuha ntin ung boots ko den ung gown den balik sa bhay nmin.. tapos punta sa ust para sunduin ang iba nming frnds tapos kila queen nmn tau ngpunta para kumain saglit tapos sa practice nmn ng sayaw k nmin dinala.. during these times wala lng skin kung ano mang meron between u n mahal..ng panggap k p ngang pinsan ko kc hindi k pa kilala sa bahay nila mahal, dba?! hehe.. hanggang sa bahay k n nmin natulog..
feb 23
ngkita tau ulit ksma mo c fonzy.. hinatid nyo ako sa bahay pati sa skyan ng bus ppntng Laguna.. ang kulit p nga n fonzy, ayaw n akong paalisin, kc delikado daw..hehe kso makulit ako, kaya wala xang ngawa.
feb 27
nguguluhan n c mahal seo kc parang wala k nmng pakialam s knya. tapos sinabi mong my gusto ko n din skin pero nililigwan mo xa. honestly, na gulat ako! pero d feeling is mutual tinatago ko lng dhil mahal was expecting dat der was somethin' already between u two. kaya ngkunwarian n lng ako n wala akong naramdaman dun sa sinabi mo pero ang toto0, sobrang happy ako nung nalaman ko un..
nung cnabi ko kay mahal un, nasad xa.. sbi nya ok lng daw. pero alam kong hindi xa ok kc npa-expect n xa nung umpisa p lng, kya ako n ung lumayo..
pero ever since then hindi n nwala s isip ko un..
march 2
ÜÜ baha ng alak sa bhay mo! bday mo kc. hehe.. super excited n akong mkita ka ulit nun, hindi ko alam kung bkit. pgdating nmin sainyo, nashock kme sa dmi ng tao. pero aus lng masaya nmn eh. ang dami ngang hottie nung bday mo!hehe.hanggang inantok ako sa dami ng alak hanggang sa natulog na ako sa taas,.tapos.........
dun ko 1st time nkita c nick..hehe
march 4
my nkita si mahal sakin habang gumgwa ako ng avp para sa project..
MAHAL: ano yan?
ILDZ: (busy sa harap ng pc) alin?
MAHAL: yang nsa leeg mo? chikinini yan dba?!
ILDZ: huh? (shocked)
MAHAL: wag mo ng ideny? san at kanino galing yan?!
ILDZ: ano? (d alam sasabihin)
MAHAL: mahal! isa! knino nga?!
ILDZ: huh? mahal!!!!!
MAHAL: ano?!?!
ILDZ: mahal!! putang ina!!........
MAHAL: oh bkit??!
ILDZ: tangina mahal kay rhen!
MAHAL: huh?! ahh.. owkei. (sabay walkout)
medyo nagalit c mahal at d alam ssbhin sa narinig nyang cnabi ko. hanggang sa hindi n xa ngsalita, tapos bigla k pang tumwag sa celfone nya,.. after 1 hour lumapit skin c mahal tapos ngbati n kmi.. akala ko hindi na..hai..
march 5
1st time akong tnext ni nick!..wala lng.
march 7
last day ng rehearsals ko para sa dance concert, kso d n ako nkpunta kc ngpunta keo s bhay nmin ksma si nick, kya pumyag n ako..hehe, smin din keo natulog.. ng cut c mahal ng classes para maksunod sa bhay, 1st time q din c nick nksama nun.. hehe, wla lng.. den kinabukasan..
march 8
bday ko na!! hehe.. umuwi n din keo agad kc ang aga kung umalis dhil nga sa concert,. hinatid mo p nga aq sa gateway kc ang dami kong dala.,.hehe.. thnk u po.
march 9
kau n ni mahal.. d ko alam kung pano, bsta kau nlng bigla.. hai..
march 13
ngpunta kmi ni mahal sinyo, c nick lng ksma mo nun, kso umalis din xa ngpunta xa kila melody, tapos nginom tau,.. umalis ka at ntulog na pala,.. at kung anu-ano pa! waaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
dumtaing c kuya quinn para sunduin kmi, may amats kmi pareho ni mahal, as in sobra! c nick dumating nung pgkaalis nmin,.. tapos ngcing n lng ako nsa taxi n aq sa tpat ng compound nmin..
kinabukasan, tnxt ako n mhal nnwakaw daw ung mp4 nya sainyo.. hai,.sobrang nkakaloka ang araw na toh!
march 21
walang pasok c mahal, ngpunta kau ulit smin.,khit my exam ako.. walang inuman n nganap kc during exams ko andun keo sainyo..Ü kumakain ng pizza..
march 23
nginom kami smin, ktatapos lng kc ng exam ni mahal, ksma c zhe, anna, aq at c mahal lng.. sumunod kaung dalwa ni fonzy.. my amats din ako nun, at my ngwa nnmn akong d mganda! hai, lagi n lng.. may ngalit tuloy skin! hmp.
march 27
ksma ko c tor tska c kian..
march 31
ngpunta kmi ni mhal ulit sinyo.. dpat sa antipolo kmi kso ayaw ni kuya quinn bka daw mahuli kmi kc election season daw ngaun.. at xempre, dhil taung tatlo lng nun nginom nnmn tau..
ngtext ako, tapos nkiramdam c mahal, kaya hinram nya ung fone mu at aun!..haha! galit n xa skin! nung pauwi n kmi, kinuha o nya ug gamit sa sasakyan at inwan sa bhay mo, aq nmn si takbo para kunin at mkasakay n kso ayaw akong pasakayin ni mhal, ayaw akong iwan ni kuya quinn kaya nkasakay din ako at hintaid sa may kanto..
habang nsa car, may amats n c mahal, hindi mkausap ng matino, at halatang may galit n skin! kso d nya maiicip kung mggalit b xa o hindi!..
gsto ko lng sbhin na gusto n din kita bgo p mging kau ni mahal, kso mas nauna
lng xang mgpakita, kaya pinabayaan ko n lng c mahal, kso d more n nkikita kita d
more n ngfafall ako, tinry kong pigilin pero d tlga maiiwasan minsan, cguro seo
wala lng.. pero wala n akong pakialam, gusto ko lng malaman mo ung side ko..
nhurt din ako nung tinanaong k ni mahal kung ano b tlga taung dlawa pero d n lng
ako ngpaapekto dhil alam kong wala din nmng patututnguhan. ..hai, tangina! ang
corny ko nah maxado, pero khit n corny na, tot0o lhat toh! maniwala k man o
hindi!basta, alagaan mo n lng ang mahal ko!
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
updates
January 10 - Mariz' 18th Bday
Her celebration was done on the 13th but i wasnt able to come because of the prelim week. I talked to her anyway about it but she didnt replied. Happy 18th gurl, dont be mad at me. mua!
January 15-19 - Prelim Week
My first Hell Week after giving birth! haha.. i was just at queen's place the whole week studying and eating and nothing. haha... i need to do better on the finals! that's ol!
January 16 - Mike Cadapan and Pers' Bday
Happy bday Mike! hindi kita na text dhil wla akong no. mo..Wala bng inuman??
Pers, my very lovingly late sister, I wish u all d best u deserve in life n congratulations for making it to UPLB!!! whooo.. let's celebrate!
January 23 - Joy Tor's 18th Bday
The sexiest and the only white-skinned among summer gurls! Happy 18 to u! i feel bad kasi wala ako dyan sa kung nasan k mna to greet u personally.. i really wanted to go to ur celebration party but i dont know how to contact you guys.. i super mis u tor! i still love u like i loved you before.
January 28 - Mommy's Bday
We went to church with my siblings, Bell n yaya. Then went to Shang right after but we left Bell n yaya sa house because Bell has a mild fever that time. We bought tickets for 'A Night in the Musem' and saw Nancy Castiglione while we were buying. While waiting for the time we had an early dinner at a chinese restaurant. Then after eating we watched the movie then after it we walked to Megamall to look for ice cream as a late desset but we're not able to find one so we just bought Zagu.. haha den went home na.
January 30 - Bell's 1st Bday; Mariz Dimaculangan's 18th Bday
my skit xa.. kainis. very sad dis day for Baby Bell and her mommy.
Mariz happi 18th sau.. I wish you more birthdays to come. always smile and never feel down.
January 31 - Today
Wala lng.. i just missed my blog.
Her celebration was done on the 13th but i wasnt able to come because of the prelim week. I talked to her anyway about it but she didnt replied. Happy 18th gurl, dont be mad at me. mua!
January 15-19 - Prelim Week
My first Hell Week after giving birth! haha.. i was just at queen's place the whole week studying and eating and nothing. haha... i need to do better on the finals! that's ol!
January 16 - Mike Cadapan and Pers' Bday
Happy bday Mike! hindi kita na text dhil wla akong no. mo..Wala bng inuman??
Pers, my very lovingly late sister, I wish u all d best u deserve in life n congratulations for making it to UPLB!!! whooo.. let's celebrate!
January 23 - Joy Tor's 18th Bday
The sexiest and the only white-skinned among summer gurls! Happy 18 to u! i feel bad kasi wala ako dyan sa kung nasan k mna to greet u personally.. i really wanted to go to ur celebration party but i dont know how to contact you guys.. i super mis u tor! i still love u like i loved you before.
January 28 - Mommy's Bday
We went to church with my siblings, Bell n yaya. Then went to Shang right after but we left Bell n yaya sa house because Bell has a mild fever that time. We bought tickets for 'A Night in the Musem' and saw Nancy Castiglione while we were buying. While waiting for the time we had an early dinner at a chinese restaurant. Then after eating we watched the movie then after it we walked to Megamall to look for ice cream as a late desset but we're not able to find one so we just bought Zagu.. haha den went home na.
January 30 - Bell's 1st Bday; Mariz Dimaculangan's 18th Bday
my skit xa.. kainis. very sad dis day for Baby Bell and her mommy.
Mariz happi 18th sau.. I wish you more birthdays to come. always smile and never feel down.
January 31 - Today
Wala lng.. i just missed my blog.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
prelim week
prelim weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! eek.
january 15-19. hay, i dont know if i can handle this,. this is my first prelims with a baby. i'm not used to have someone at home who is such a disturbance ever since, and now that its a hell week, i nid my own time alone meaning no makulit around who shouts and looks for attention and wants to play n play around! waaaaaaaaaaaa
help.
january 15-19. hay, i dont know if i can handle this,. this is my first prelims with a baby. i'm not used to have someone at home who is such a disturbance ever since, and now that its a hell week, i nid my own time alone meaning no makulit around who shouts and looks for attention and wants to play n play around! waaaaaaaaaaaa
help.
Monday, January 01, 2007
1st blog.
hello 2007! i wish a more exciting year ahead with more surprises that brings luck to me n my family.
but, wait a sec. y am i stuck here at home doing tons of assignment from my filipino prof! making our xmas breaks a hell. making us do an entry everyday the whole vacation which is supposed to be spent with the whole family and friends only and away from all the akad loads but no! she's so not fair.
if she just won't count our efforts for points in that journal! i'll be goin' mad this coming prelims! hmp.
nweiz, so much for this dramtic showing of emotions because of that stupid filipino subject that i never liked!
but, wait a sec. y am i stuck here at home doing tons of assignment from my filipino prof! making our xmas breaks a hell. making us do an entry everyday the whole vacation which is supposed to be spent with the whole family and friends only and away from all the akad loads but no! she's so not fair.
if she just won't count our efforts for points in that journal! i'll be goin' mad this coming prelims! hmp.
nweiz, so much for this dramtic showing of emotions because of that stupid filipino subject that i never liked!
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas!!
Happy Bday JESUS!!!! We Love You!.. just wonderin' how old are you now?! ÜÜÜ
irreplaceable by beyonce knowles is up to the beat right now.
don't know why there is no any christmas song here, nwyeiz, ive been so helpless around here maybe because im trying to feel my xmas vacation up to the nerve!!! haha. no akads to make, no training, no work!!! wo0ho0, this is worth a gift already for me.
So, its xmas day already, got nothin' to do but to relax myself n blog agen. Bell woke me up around 830am n i saw my bag beside her n all my stuffs scattered around her in my bed! what a disaster baby. then ate breakfast n opened our gifts in the christmas tree n also gave gifts to some of our friends here in the compound. after the gift moments, Bell got tired and took a bath then slept up to now..
yeserday, xmas eve, we just attended the misa de gallo n ate dinner then wento our beds to sleep n rest agen! The mass wasn't MAGARBO unlike last year, the mass lasted for about 2 hours but yesterday it was like a typical saturday mass with no ocassion. i miss the old parish priest! hmP!
Dec 23, me , Bell n yaya attended DaviD's CaTerInG XMas Party. It was super Fun to the Full blAst with All their EmployEes n queen. they were all so makulit n galing kumanta sa videoke!!! hehe. we plAyed games like we haven't plaYEd before, atE Dinner den Exchanged gifts and made Osme RAffLes and INUMAN 'til Dawn.
Dec 22, cant remember what hapened! hehe..
Sunday, December 24, 2006
2006 Recap
today is the 24th of December. isang tulog n lng and Christmas day na. BEfore anything else, i Would just like to share that this year is such a big struggle of hardships and luck for me. After all of the struggles I've been too many blessings came in return too. 1st of all, my Bell was born on the January 30th of this year. I was in a "i-don't-know-what-to-do" stage of my life. It was until my baby was baptized because we were able to afford already. The date was May 7, 2006 until we(me n my mom) recovered from that stage. After that all blessings continuedto pour down to ua. June 20, 2006 I was hired by mom, she did that to help me in financing my baby and learn my lessons as well. My job was great because it makes me earn enough for my baby's needs and I don't need to borrow money anymore from my mom unlike during our first three months with Bell, my Mom is the one who provides everything which makes her feel that we're all such a burden to her. October 2006, my mom was able to transfer to her new office site near our house, as in just outside our compund. Then November 4, 2006 2nd sem started and i Was able to enroll myself too.. i'm back to school agen, good for me but not for my Bell, because it means less time for her and less paycheck for me to earn because my job from then on will just be a prt time and I will be paid based on my hours na lng, unlike before that I'm paid per day, however my rate now was higher but I dont have enough time to work in the office anymore because of the school loads which is keeping me busy. December 8, 2006 me and two of my new batchmates auditioned at our college's dance troupe, and because they are hardly in need of dancers they qualified us and after that weekend we were already training ourselves for the coming paskuhan on the 20th. A dance competition will on the said date. so we trained and practiced ourselves to death for a week until the event and because we were at a low-budget our creatives sides are being tested for the making of props and costumes was all bring-your-own. but because of God's grace we won the 3rd place. Not bad! December 22, 2006 her old stuffs in her old office was returned to us already, Our new office near our house is beginning to be filled up and look like a real office na..and now, its already vacation! I miss vacations!!!! that's why im blogging right now!!! haha.. ok, got to go, still need to help my mom in her office!
Friday, December 22, 2006
X-MAS BREAK!!
wo0o0oho0oo0!!!
its christmas break, at last!
i love christmas season...'coz 1st, i love the season n the weather too, 2nd its the season of giving, but for me, its the season of recieving!!! haha..3rd, simbang gabi.. 4th, this is my baby's 1st xmas ever.. lastly, its JC's bday agen!
haha.. i feel tired nah! see yah tom!
its christmas break, at last!
i love christmas season...'coz 1st, i love the season n the weather too, 2nd its the season of giving, but for me, its the season of recieving!!! haha..3rd, simbang gabi.. 4th, this is my baby's 1st xmas ever.. lastly, its JC's bday agen!
haha.. i feel tired nah! see yah tom!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
still lonely!
wake up around 6am to play and do all things necessary with my baby den to myself. after perking my day up , to the office right away until 11am then back home to freshen up myself for my 1pm classes until 6pm. by 7pm im home na. but usually i still go out with friends until 9-10pm is the latest. but if not, i just make assignments or play with my bell for relaxation.
i dreamed of being back to school ever since i stopped! because i was lonely den because i was home-bound all year... but why is it dat i'm still feeling lonely even if im now bak to skul and seeing my friends everyday and my baby too. i can still even work after all my school works and projects!
i dont know wats rily missing! i thought if ill be back to skul my depression wil end. but why this feeling is till here in me!
i hate this feeling already! it makes me feel like i cant breathe sometimes! tangina tlga! d ko n alam! lhat n ng effort in luking for my hapines ay gnwa ko nah! kso prang wla nmng ngyayari..
i realy dont know!
Friday, November 10, 2006
happy. lonely. pissed.
HAPPY. im happy because im back to school and i think things are goin fine too for me as well. Happy 'coz now, i can always see my friends. I can make gimmicks after school hours. I'm not worrying anything but myself and schook works anymore. I can do shyguys agen adn drink sometimes. I have the things i have not a year ago. Im back to who i was before.but..
LONELY. I feel something is missing. Im missing my baby when im at school. Nothing makes me feel groove and move faster. Im feeling bored despite of the happiness. Cant think of what is making me feel this way. im feeling stucked!
PISSED. 'coz i dont know how to end this feeling!
SHIT.
LONELY. I feel something is missing. Im missing my baby when im at school. Nothing makes me feel groove and move faster. Im feeling bored despite of the happiness. Cant think of what is making me feel this way. im feeling stucked!
PISSED. 'coz i dont know how to end this feeling!
SHIT.
im officially enrolled again!
officially enrolled. meaning im an official estudyante to at the same time. i still cant believe that im actualy bak to school. nothing much happened this week. all professors was boring and always absent this week! however, ive been meeting new friends and classmates which is cool. anywya, our uniform is kinda cool too 'coz it makes us look like a flight stewardess.. i love it actually.
on the first day last november 6, 2006 i made an absent 'coz i now for sure there will be no prof that will attend to us. i just enrolled instead and completed the things i needed.
nov 7, my first day!!! my first time in my corporate look uniform.. super init!!! but my new batchmates was fine. they were super friendly to me. i can see that they've been really close to each other already after one semester only. it makes me reminisce the past and miss my h2 batchmates before.
today is the last day of the week. hope to see all my professors today! haha
on the first day last november 6, 2006 i made an absent 'coz i now for sure there will be no prof that will attend to us. i just enrolled instead and completed the things i needed.
nov 7, my first day!!! my first time in my corporate look uniform.. super init!!! but my new batchmates was fine. they were super friendly to me. i can see that they've been really close to each other already after one semester only. it makes me reminisce the past and miss my h2 batchmates before.
today is the last day of the week. hope to see all my professors today! haha
Sunday, November 05, 2006
estudyante again!
OMG!!! still in the state of 'is this true'?? tomorrow is gonna be is the start of reality in my life! I'll be both a student and a working mom!!! who0o** I dont know what to say and to expect to what wil happen nor to myself. What bothers me is how will I be able to earn the same as before when I was full time working in the future. I cant focus my mind on things I really want to do because my baby is killing my head on thinking ways for me to make money easily! haay, I cant do this all on my own for now because I know for myself that Im incapacitated to work to other companies 'coz im only 1st year. almost all of them needs a minimun requirement of atleast 2nd yr college! I running out of ideas already and beginning to lose hope! This cant be, but this is my destiny.. I dont know what to do anymore! My head is blank! SH*T
Sunday, October 29, 2006
weekly update
October 23, 2006
So0o0o many deadlines to government offices. Ive been scolded for many mistakes. I was super bored because i was thinking of my back-to-school things n issues. After loads of work at 6pm i was out. Prepared for Melai's debut at Kamias with my prety baby gurl. Her dada Gilbert n dada Gallo fetched us pra sabay n kmi to the venue. by 8pm we left n headed to the party with bell n her yaya ofcourse! Her ninangs were goin crazy because they didnt expect there inaanaksa debut. By 10pm bell was sleepy n pagod because of the crowd so i sort silently made an exit with my baby 'coz i have to bring them home na, pagod n din kc c yaya eh. nywyz, the ninongs n ninangs had fun nmn with my baby. after i brought them home we went back to the debut n finished the program by 12am.
October 24, 2006
This day was an official holiday because of Ramadan. Anyways, so because its a holiday,after the debut we went to Pier 1 at the Fort n drunk some beers until are tummies were full but not tipsy. by 245am we were finished drinking n smoking some we went home already n me i went with them to eLbi because a friend of mine had her birthday bash in pansol, laguna in a private resort der. so after evryone was on their homes already it was my turn to be dropped to my destination. and as we were looking for the place of the bash.. we were lost! until we've got no more choice but to call them n fetch me at the first block. haha. wen isaw the car that is supposed to fetch me i went off the car n made salubong them n didnt make any acquaintances to each other kc nkakahiya na.. den wen i said gudbye to my elbi friends i transfered to the other car n said i was with my friends choy den they all screamed at me dat why didnt i said it earlier so that they were able to know him!!! haha.. daming my crush sau choy!!!
So, at last i was at the venue of the bash already. i had no plans of sleeping so, me nina n d celebrant just sang our lungs out while playing tong-its till dawn. The sun has risen n they were all getting up. me, nina n ate fatz awas so sleepy but has nothing to do because poeple are making gulo!!! waaaa. We tried to sleep by 9am but then she n ches was trying to piss us off by turning the fun to no. 4!! the coldest!! nagulat ako sobra n so was nina n queen. so we walked out. we made a revenge by putting water on their faces while sleeping too!!! haha. super fun!!! until i got wet too! so i had no choice but to swim . by 1pm i got out of the pool to prepare myslef for lunch. 3pm was packing time den 4pm was the time to go back to manila!!!
October 25, 2006
Work again. but still restless by yesterdays fun! hahaha!!! made undertime for my 4pm's cutiliion practice for queen's debut next yr.
October 26, 2006
wwwwwwwork.
ressssssssssst.
sllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppppppp.
October 27, 2006
I made absent from work because i had to do some things regarding my readmission ek-ek to uste!uhmmm.. crinkles a friend of bell's ninangs voluntered to be babysitter for that day so dinala ko c bell sa uste for him because he also wants to see my baby as well. after i finished my business with uste we went to usth for bells check-up. bell has sipon n ubo n prang my phlegm n its relly bothering me,'coz dis is her 1st time. After the chek-up , the feeling daddy left us for some reason so me n queen was left with bell . we went to megamall after he left n ate lunch while bell was sleeping. after lunch we looked for a gift for faith for ehr debut tomorrow. den we went to starbucks n hanged out for a while. den off to queen's place to rest n hang out for a while to until the sunsets. went home aroung 930pm n arrived home at 10pm.
October 28, 2006
super tired! slept a lot!
So0o0o many deadlines to government offices. Ive been scolded for many mistakes. I was super bored because i was thinking of my back-to-school things n issues. After loads of work at 6pm i was out. Prepared for Melai's debut at Kamias with my prety baby gurl. Her dada Gilbert n dada Gallo fetched us pra sabay n kmi to the venue. by 8pm we left n headed to the party with bell n her yaya ofcourse! Her ninangs were goin crazy because they didnt expect there inaanaksa debut. By 10pm bell was sleepy n pagod because of the crowd so i sort silently made an exit with my baby 'coz i have to bring them home na, pagod n din kc c yaya eh. nywyz, the ninongs n ninangs had fun nmn with my baby. after i brought them home we went back to the debut n finished the program by 12am.
October 24, 2006
This day was an official holiday because of Ramadan. Anyways, so because its a holiday,after the debut we went to Pier 1 at the Fort n drunk some beers until are tummies were full but not tipsy. by 245am we were finished drinking n smoking some we went home already n me i went with them to eLbi because a friend of mine had her birthday bash in pansol, laguna in a private resort der. so after evryone was on their homes already it was my turn to be dropped to my destination. and as we were looking for the place of the bash.. we were lost! until we've got no more choice but to call them n fetch me at the first block. haha. wen isaw the car that is supposed to fetch me i went off the car n made salubong them n didnt make any acquaintances to each other kc nkakahiya na.. den wen i said gudbye to my elbi friends i transfered to the other car n said i was with my friends choy den they all screamed at me dat why didnt i said it earlier so that they were able to know him!!! haha.. daming my crush sau choy!!!
So, at last i was at the venue of the bash already. i had no plans of sleeping so, me nina n d celebrant just sang our lungs out while playing tong-its till dawn. The sun has risen n they were all getting up. me, nina n ate fatz awas so sleepy but has nothing to do because poeple are making gulo!!! waaaa. We tried to sleep by 9am but then she n ches was trying to piss us off by turning the fun to no. 4!! the coldest!! nagulat ako sobra n so was nina n queen. so we walked out. we made a revenge by putting water on their faces while sleeping too!!! haha. super fun!!! until i got wet too! so i had no choice but to swim . by 1pm i got out of the pool to prepare myslef for lunch. 3pm was packing time den 4pm was the time to go back to manila!!!
October 25, 2006
Work again. but still restless by yesterdays fun! hahaha!!! made undertime for my 4pm's cutiliion practice for queen's debut next yr.
October 26, 2006
wwwwwwwork.
ressssssssssst.
sllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppppppp.
October 27, 2006
I made absent from work because i had to do some things regarding my readmission ek-ek to uste!uhmmm.. crinkles a friend of bell's ninangs voluntered to be babysitter for that day so dinala ko c bell sa uste for him because he also wants to see my baby as well. after i finished my business with uste we went to usth for bells check-up. bell has sipon n ubo n prang my phlegm n its relly bothering me,'coz dis is her 1st time. After the chek-up , the feeling daddy left us for some reason so me n queen was left with bell . we went to megamall after he left n ate lunch while bell was sleeping. after lunch we looked for a gift for faith for ehr debut tomorrow. den we went to starbucks n hanged out for a while. den off to queen's place to rest n hang out for a while to until the sunsets. went home aroung 930pm n arrived home at 10pm.
October 28, 2006
super tired! slept a lot!
Monday, October 23, 2006
lazy me!
tinatamad n ako sa office n i dont know y. maybe because der is no more challenge for me working here in an accounting firm. haay, i liked this before so much but now it seems like im bored everyday of my life here inside the office!
Anyway, maybe because of my salary dat is not fittiny budget anymore.ESp, now dat m only weeks away from being a college student agen.
if i can just choose d work n salary i want den i will be having no problems no more.
Anyway, maybe because of my salary dat is not fittiny budget anymore.ESp, now dat m only weeks away from being a college student agen.
if i can just choose d work n salary i want den i will be having no problems no more.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
making my life more miserable
she got mad at me because i dont want to be scolded anymore.and who wants to be scolded kung pauli-ulit nmn ang sinasabi. anyway, because she is super mad at me, she assumed that im super salbahi at wala ng pag asang mgbago pa at hindi ako nkakatulong at pinagbintangan p akong mgnanakaw. i dont know where all these cam from. and i think by tomorrow we dont have a maid anymore because she will bring our helper together with her. she wants me to make my life more miserable and i think she dont want me to get up from my mistakes ive done in life. i dont want to say this but i think her way of thinking is so squarish. i undrstand her way of living in life because she is from d province at ganun tlga. i just dont know wat to do anymore. if she is testing my temper well then i think she got wat she wanted to see in me. i cannot blame myself of bursting out dhil matagal n akong mgttanim ng mga lungkot at msasamang salitang binabato skin sa loob ko! i dont have an outlet here. if only i live in fantasies then i can just disappear if i want to then all this ugly feelings will be gone too.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
HELL WEEK!
its a hell week for others because of loads of exams. but for me, its a hell week because of my 'sirang plakang' lola. Ever since mom left to India she did nothing but scold me and make sermons about what i did to myself and tells me of all the things that will happen to me in the future. She told me that i dont have anyhope of changing myself and this life i have right now is the end of evrything. Its so sad to hear for me becuae thats is not my pint of view. Thats not my pint of view in life and she just keeps on pushing me down, getting me in the nerves and makes me depressed and annoyed at her. I dont want to withdraw my respect from her but everytiome i go down stairs and see her she just starta all over again and says things that is not good for me. I know myself and I admit that im emotionally weak. I dont know why im like this but in some ways i know my grandma just wants me to face the raelity that made. Kung ako lng, alm ko nmn un eh, and im not forgetting all the mistakes and sins ive done. I also know for myslef that i am burden. I just dont know why is she so mad and make things look like a 'from d barrio' na story, n once u get pregnant at an early age it means u ended ur happy n succesful dreams. Hay nku, Putangina!!! di ko mapigilan! naiinis lng ako.. sumasakitn rin ang ulo ko i just thank gof that this week is almost ove.. isang tulog n lng.. and everything will be ok..
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