making my life more miserable

she got mad at me because i dont want to be scolded anymore.and who wants to be scolded kung pauli-ulit nmn ang sinasabi. anyway, because she is super mad at me, she assumed that im super salbahi at wala ng pag asang mgbago pa at hindi ako nkakatulong at pinagbintangan p akong mgnanakaw. i dont know where all these cam from. and i think by tomorrow we dont have a maid anymore because she will bring our helper together with her. she wants me to make my life more miserable and i think she dont want me to get up from my mistakes ive done in life. i dont want to say this but i think her way of thinking is so squarish. i undrstand her way of living in life because she is from d province at ganun tlga. i just dont know wat to do anymore. if she is testing my temper well then i think she got wat she wanted to see in me. i cannot blame myself of bursting out dhil matagal n akong mgttanim ng mga lungkot at msasamang salitang binabato skin sa loob ko! i dont have an outlet here. if only i live in fantasies then i can just disappear if i want to then all this ugly feelings will be gone too.