been working lately and it keeps me super busy. can't help it cause i don't have any choice nmn but to work hard even if i just get a little in return, at least is dat i get something. the sad part only is that there's always nothing left for me and worst is that there are times that i'm short! hay, i wish i could find a more high paying job. it was more harder than i think although i'm having nmn sa work. ang hard part lng ay ung finding a job that pays u the amount u require. grabe! ang hirap nga tlga sa pinas! ngaun ko lng xa narirealize!!!

paycheck

got my 2nd salary last 20. at nkalaan un pra nnmn sa boop ko xempre... at mlamang wlng matitira skin.. i have to buy so many things for her pa and a while ago we went to divi with her yaya. kc she also wants to buy new clothes and some stuffs for herself. nweiz, buti nlng bingyan ako ni mama ng pera pmbili for myself pra d nmn ako madepressed maxado.

hay...ang dmi ng tao sobra!!!!! ms mgnda tlga kpag weekday.. pero atleast ok n rin un wla akong leave sa office.. bka un nga tlga ang gustong mngyari ni Lord. hehe

mm, i would like to take this oppurtunity to thank Him. thank you for providing when we are lacking.. thank you for giving everytime we have nothing. as in thanx po sa mga biyaya at mga pgkakataon n ur giving us always.. i just cant wait n mg 18 n ako at pwede n akong mg work legally at mkakahanap n ako ng work n mas worth it..

at least ngaun khit papano nabubuhay ko ang boop ko..

sna lng nkikita xa ng tatay nya khit ppno..

florita

hello bloggie..

m hir na ulit. i was sick for three days and still have flu until now but i'm doin' much ok na dan last tuesday because of florita who made classes suspended for two days..hehe..kso dhil im an office gurl n nga, may work p rin ako..hmf!iba tlga pg working n pero ok lng ksi worth it nmn eh,...

nweiz, so much of florita! its been ten days na and2 n c rico, uhm un ay kung and2 n nga xa nung july 5 gaya ng cnabi nya! but he's not calling or chatting me neither since july 3. super wla n akong blita sa knya except that he texted me last week na itxt ko daw xa sa den he gave me a number kung san ako mgrereply kso kulang ng isang digit. so pano nmn ako mgrereply dba?!?! hay naku! ten dollars n utang mo skin!$20 n pla!! hihi

jowk.

* * *

i read bai's blog knina at ng hihinagpis xa about elbi. i think she's been having a hrd time coping with the lifestyle here in manila. well d ko xa msisisi noh. ive been through dat din. i think all of us who studies hir went through that too. kya bai, kumare! dnt wori mas msya nga noh! dhil malayo tau sa mga tsismoso at tsismosa... just look on the bright side, ok?!?!

tska u can sleep over smin anytime u want bsta ikaw mgaalaga sa bby ko..hehe

antok n nmn ako..

bye bye again.

i know its late though..but i cant sleep and i dont know why..

honestly speaking, he's in my head again that's why i cant sleep. ive been thinking of my bb gurl too. i feel so paranoid about it. people usually say live in the present blah blah blah...but how can that possibly be?!?! i mean how do u really do that.. can just anybody please help me with it!!!!!

* * *

its sunday already. and yesterday, i mean a few hours ago we were just watching superman returns at gateway. after that we went at mercury drug-edsa aurora. i know its creepy walking going der but we dont have a choice but to walk. i felt secured when my liitle bro catched me when i almost slip on the stairs going der, its just i never felt this ever since we moved here in cubao. its feels so happy though its till scary..hehe

nweiz, around 5.30 we left the house and went to gateway wth my boop n her yaya..we dropped off mom at sm den we headed to a mercury drug store to buy my boop's milk kso out of stock. so we just went back to gateway and headed to the cineplex to but tickets for superman den we got the 8.25opm show ticket. after buying the tickets we hanged out for two hours at blow-up babies area..and to my surprise it wasnt just a place for babies, it's also a studio especially for babies. and one the persons behind it is a veteran film director. so, i think its cool to have myself as a member kso i dont have money that time..so i guess i just have to go bac wen im not broke already!!! hehe

got home at 11.30, we fix d tables and foods served for us den went to sleep but i cant sleep so im blogging.

and now im about to inish but still cant sleep.

dont know wat to do next but type. but i also dont know what to type.

im feelin' kinda silly now!

got to end this.

bye.

*Name 21 people you can think of right atthis moment. Dont read the questionsunderneath until you write the namesof all 21 people.

Ready, Start!*

1. joe

2. khurt

3. anne(gf n khurt)

4. baby bell

5. gallo

6. berto

7. gnett

8. nix

9. bai

10. mama

11. sel

12. tor

13. gnett

14. choy

15. val

16. big boi

17. queen

18. tee

19. joshua

20. tta gina

21. enrico

THE QUESTIONS:

1.How did you meet 14?

> sa school during elementary days plang-CSi

2.what would you do if u never met 6?

> wlang father figure ang baby gurl ko!

3.What would you do if 20 & 9 dated?

> wat?!

4.Did you ever like 5?

> hmm..ofcourse! super sweet & kind nya noh! Super friend ko din xa!

5.Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?

> ok k lng?! Ang bb gurl ko at c baby boar?!

6.Describe 8.

> mahilig mamuna ng mga English grammar at kung anu-anong relatd sa English pero ok lng cause I learn from her..hehe (^.^) love u nix..tska super gala xa khit san mu xa dalhin sa mundo d xa maliligaw!

7.Do you think 13 is attractive?

> ang sweetheart ko,?! O0 nmn yes..pg tulog!! Hihi..mua.

8.Tell me something about 17.

> I met her sa uste she’s my buddy during my preggy days nung pumapasok p ako..meron din clang catering business, inggit nga ako e..

9.Do you know any of 4's family members?

> ako nga ang nanay nya noh!

10.What's 21's favorite color?

> ewan ko noh!

11.What would you do if 18 just confessed he/sheliked you?

> tee?! Eh d flattered

12.what language does 20 speak?

> kasinungalingan..hehe jowk! tagalog and english

13.Who is 9 going out with?

> hmm.. xa n c mrs. Maningas noh!..peace.

14.What year is 16 in?

> 2nd yr collge

15.When's the last time you talked to 13?

> nung binyag ng baby ko…may pa un…mis n kita sweetheart!16.What is 2's favorite band?> hmm..bka aishteru, un nmn ang bukang bibig nun plagi..

17.Would you ever date 7?> would I ever date my sweetheart? hmm.. actually,I have gone out with her.:-) many times already, mis ko n nga un eh18.Would you ever date 12?> we also have gone on dates.:-)19.Is 15 single?> yes.:-) haha20.What is 19's last name?> FRANCISCO..21.Would you ever want to be in a seriousrelationship with 11?> pwde.. kumara ko yan e..22.What school does 3 go to?> liceo de los baños ata kso she’s preggy now kya bka d n xa ng-aaral23. Where does 15 live?> marymount village
24.What's your favorite thing about 10?> everything. 25. Do you love number 1? what do u like mostabout him/her?> I love her gilagid! Jowk. I love her fashion sense, her talent sa webpages..super mis ko na xa e..sbi nila d n daw xa ngaaral.. joey, we super miss u nah…

bagyong ester

and2 n c bagyong ester at kasalukuyang umuulan ngaun. sarap ngang matulog e kso i have to work pa pero wla nmn akong gngawa pa kaya blog muna hehe..

* * *

nweiz, boop update: 5 months n ang boop ko. super likot as in prang 4 times n xang nahuhulog sa kama buti lng at d p xa nbabalian. accrdg. to the matatanda sinisave daw sila ng knilang mga guardian angels. nax! pero mukhang true nmn kc hndi sila na oospital pgktapos mhulog. iiyak lng sila ng super laks den pg binuhat mo tahan na..hehe.

super takaw n rin nya ngaun, lhat ng mahawakan ay sinusubo n nya at pg inagaw mo iiyak ulit as usual! gnyan nmn tlga ang mga babies super kulit pero super cute din kya bawi-bawi rin.. hehe

khit super stressed k sa work, mg smile lng sau ang baby mo tgal lhat ng pagod. ngaun ko lng narealize n ang sarap pla mgkabb pero hndi ung maya't maya. mas masay pati kung may trabaho ka at kumikita dba?! pra walnag hassle sa life mo at ng baby..

kya nga ako, i work for my mom just to earn money pra my pambibili ako ng milk ng baby ko habang hindi p ako pumapasok kc super gastos tlga. super big burden n ako pg sa momi ko pa rin ako humingi ng gamit ng bb ko.. i mea, cguro ok lng kung minsan pero not all the time! tska feeling ko super mommi ako if i can able to financially support my baby alone, ung pnghihirapan ko ung gagastusin ko for her.. hehe...i just can't w8 n mg 2nd sem pra mg-aaral n ako kso bka wla akong work nun, pno na?!?!

hmmm, my nkita akong nghahanap ng mga employees sa gateway, pwedeng full-time at part-time.. sa humor post.. medyo boring un kc mgbabantay k ng store. super malayo sa hilig k n related sa mga food and restaurant. pero pwde n rin cguro un kc hndi un nkakapagod. at least pg nsa work ako i can do some school stuffs like assignments right?! try ko kyang mg-apply dun as part-time.. hmmm.. why not, dba?! hehe..excited na aq!

* * *

last wednesday ninang bai ang ninang nica made a baby visit ulit d2 smin kso super 2 hours lng ang tinagal ni nix kc my dinner daw sila ng tita nya..super paxente nga c bai kc sinundo p xa ni nix sa up manila from up diliman. super layo kya nun! next time daw d n nya uulitin un. c melai nmn hnggang nagun busy p rin! prang natalo p xa ni bai..pero infareness huh, congrats bai kc ur one of us n..i mean ur here with us far from tsismo at mg tsismosa sa eLbi, aight?! hehe..

den around 6pm hinatid ko n xa sa gateway pero ng merienda muna kmi at dinala ko xa sa office pra mkita where i work..hehe..enjoy nmn xa..sa pg pipindo tng calculator! hehe (^.^) bai tlga..

* * *

enrico siad n he'll be here sa philippines nung july 5 pa.. kso nmn wla nmn akong natatanggap n calls or watever n balita from him n he's here n nga! umm, well, rico is my friend nung 1st yr highschool pa. i forgot n kung pano kmi ngkakilala pero i knew him already since then. super malakas mg-yosi at mg-inom at super maloko din pero ng punta xa ng states 3 years ago n ata un at sbi nya uuwi daw xa nang pinas nitong july 5 nga. super excited n nga daw xa pero d ko nmn alam kung asan n nga xa ngaun!

hay enrico, if ur reading this! mg pramdam k na!!! ung 5 dollars ko gagwin ko ng 20 dollars un! hehe..jowk lng!

* * *

gnet..gallo..berto..nica..sel..melai..bongi..bai..mga manila peeps! hehe.. super mis ko n kau pero kylan lng ngkita n kmi nila nix at bai..miss ko n ung iba..sbi nmn ni gallo na baluga pupunta daw xa d2 tom! pero i doubt it n matutuloy xa! un pa! mdyo, imean drawing tlga un! miski nga nung binyag d dumataing, kainis! ang laki n ng utang nya sa inaanak nya huh!..hehe

* * *

hay, i got to go na kc lunch break n eh..gege, laters..

mua.

ciao.

lucky baby

after office hours yesterday, ngyaya c mama mg grocery kso pagod n ako but i thought of isama ang boop ko kya sumama p rin kmi..hehe.. khit gbi na makulit kmi eh...

cnama dn nmn c yaya at ngulat xa sa laki ng supermarket.haha. kaktuwa c yaya, promdi tlga ang dting. c bb nmn patingin tingin lng sa paligid n maraming colors..enjoy ang bb kc bgo n nmn ang surroundings nya..

after almost 2 hours of making grocery finally we're done already pila nlng sila sa bayaran section kya kmi nmn ni bell ay lumabasa n at ng laro nlng. but then i got tired kc sobrang bigat n ni bell her weight was doubled already since birth!. kya nghanap kmi ng bench pra we can sit together.

we saw a bench and sat beside a lady mid 30's then asked me,

LADY: baby mo?
ME: opo
LADY: bata mo pa ah, ilang taon k n?
ME: 17 po.
LADY: buti k pa may baby na, ako hirap ako mg kabby eh.

that's how our conversation started . we talked so much already and we even got to talk about work,our parents, ofcourse my baby and her dream baby too. after mom finished at d counter they approached us sa bench n introduced to each other. until d both of them just finished our little chitchat.

it seems like another client is coming because of my boop again. another luck through my bell.

lovin' it

its been a week that i'm an office gurl already. haha. cant believe i did it that long. i mean, i actually survived a week of sitting ang facing the computer only. its a couch potato thingy aight?! but then i made it and so far so good, i'm feeling great actually because i got a good paying job already. haha

i even got an advance last friday for my boop's milk..hehe. can't believe tlga that it was so easy to do that once ur working olready. hay, i just hope that i can still survive if the preggy officemate of mine is gone already.

but behind all these greatness in work i'm experiencing, an unexpectd thingy happened in the wrong time. 2 of our computers just bugged down, it just wont work but has power. it's been useless for 5 days including weekends olredy. kainis nga e! limited n tuloy ung gawain ko at i can't have my own time sa computer na kc ung personal comp ko ung isa sa hindi umaandar. absent lng ngaun c kuya patrick kya my computer akong gamit ngaun. kainis tlga! sana pumasok n xa tom pra mgwa n nya un..hihi..

i miss my computer na...

bloggy... i missed you so much. nweiz, im here already so nothing to worry.

yesterday was my first day as an office gurl. actually i never dreamed of being one. but i have no choice but to work cause i have to replace a preggy employee..hihi

so on my first day, she just thought me some basics and things for me to remember always which was so dami! but i should not complain ofcourse! im just just scared n nervous if i will be able to screw things up by the time the preggy is gone. there is no one to teach me anymore. huhu. well, she is going to give birth by the end of july p nmn so maybe she'll be still around until mid of july. i wish by that time i can able to manage things on my own already. (^.^)

today, another office day. but because i missed my boop yesterday i played with her util late night until we both feel asleep kya half day lang ako ngaun! kapal noh! hihi. wla p c ms. preggy ngaun kya wla akong mgwa. huhu, i guess i have to get used to an early gising and i think i have to fix my body clock too! bka wla akong swelduhin if ever! haha

speaking of my boop... she's gonna 5 months already by the end of the month. cant believe time passes by so fast! we went to chocolate lovers last saturday to buy some ingredients for chocolate lollipops for selling. i brought my boop with me and my mom and i think my boop had fun because she smelled chocolates which is new to her and the place too.

amm, to my readers-- i'm selling
choco lollipops for only 6.00pesos i
accept bulk orders or any special request of designs my no. is
639287149499..

* * * *

umm, i just want to share that my boop is so matakaw and she is in the stage of using of a teether already and due to lack of teether we found out that a table can be a substitute. watch this.

very tiring dis day pero masaya p rin dhil sa boop kong csuper cutie at kulit. ang likot n nya ngaun at ang ligalig super. always shouting and loves someone to talk to khit d nmn ngsasalita! hehe..mga babies tlga..

tntamad n aq.

and dami ko png gstong i-hare kso wla ako sa mood. very tired.

sori.

chao.

im so bored! cant think of something to do to keep me busy all day. my boop is fun to be with all day but it looks so helpless to me. ive been thinking of something productive and helpful kso prang d pwede ung gusto kong mgtrabaho kc below 18 p ako. hmf!

my boop made her 1st actual bowel movement sa cr knina.. haha.. ang cute nga eh. nrinig ko kc xa na prang imiire kya dineretso ko n xa agad sa bowl!

hehe..

right after she did her yucky habit naligo n xa agad pra squiky clean ang boop ko.

after i made paligo of my boop natulog ako dahil antok p ako. sobrang pabida lng ang boop ko kya nagsing ako agad. hmf. woke up at 1pm den ate a yummy lunch n luto ni momi n chicken something basta oishi..meaning delicious..hihihi.. den after i got myself ready kasi pnta ako ust pra kuni ky jmee mga old notes and notebuks nya ung 2nd sem last yr, pra my mgawa nmn ako khit papano..ksma nga dpt ang boop ko kso late n ako nkaalis.

i left the house at 3.30 den arrived der at exactly 4pm. i first saw hazel ann, my supladao n ayaw mkipg usap n seatmateko sa english pero knina prang ang glowing nya nung nkita nya ako, super touching lang. den i saw next is mandz with our girl drummer. suplado nga c mandz hndi ako nkita, kainis! e super kulit non d ako sanay. den pumunta n aq sa tapat ng educ building and saw big boi, geln, gio, kevz, migz kso d nla ako nkita..hmf. tapos ayun na lumabas n cla jmee and the rest of ds mong. dey wer all luking for my boop and asked of wats my condition. theyre all wearing smiles in their faces nung nkita nila ako. happy lng ako kc dey support me tska ang open-minded nila.. i feel so blessed p rin.. nwiez i got what i need already and left right away. actually wla p akong 30 mins sa ust umalis n ako agad. pero ok lng kc nkita ko cla lhat..

hmm..mis ko n tlga sila..pti ung mga moments nung ksma sila queen. haay, prang gusto ko n ulit pumasok. kainis 1 d ko n tuloy kung ano tlgang gustong gawin.

soo, pauwi n ako i took a cab to legarda station den lrt to cubao station den while wlking and staring sa mga shops kung my vacancy my kumulbit sakin pglingon ko c momi..hehe nsa oyster boy sila ksma c pers my slow sister. unfortunately, they were not able to do their business with UP knina n nmn. then, we ate merienda there and went home n dhil may effect netmeeting daw c momi. if i know ung bf lng nya un! che!

haay, pagod n ako. un lng.

before boop

haha.

remembered what my 4th yr adviser used to say to us,

"in every decision you make there is always a consequence"

my big bro went online and saw fcuking kurt online and is using a webcam too. my bro tried to view his cam but the sh*t turned to invisible! i think he got scared! haha so, i went online too and used a cam and posted the message - view my cutie baby and the hottie mommie.

i was assuming that he will attempt to view me and guess what, i was right! haha. he attempted to view me twice but i rejected him and even made easy on me by sending me a smiley waving.

he is just not so thinking, assuming that i will show him my cutie boop. after all what he did. well, actually i have forgiven him already but he pissed me off by chatting me at the wrong time with the wrong words to tell! and now i dont think he deserves to see all the moments that my boop made that i treasured.

just wondering what he is thinking and trying to do now because i wont let him see my boop...hmm

to clear things up ill share to u guys what really happened, here goes:

april n may 05, we were starting packing our stuffs and made a garage sale to sell out stuffs that are not-so-useful already by the time we move.

a week before we leave, he talked to me eye-to-eye looking so serious and said, "iLdz, nung gagawin mo pg nabuntis kita??" i was so shocked cause i know for myself that it will not happen ever to me! so i did not answeres and said EWAN. but if it is true then i will keep the baby. abortion is such a big a sin and i cant afford doing that too. alam ko n sa sarili ko n angdami ko ng kasalanan at kung totoo man ayaw ko ng palalain pa. but he disagreed and said that AYAW DAW NYA NG BABY! fcuk.

11-Jun-05, we moved to our new address here where i am right now, in cubao near araneta for my college ek-ek. i visit eLbi and kurt my boyfrend(BEFORE) every time i got a chance and so is he to me. without a month he already got to visit me here alone. i really love him soo much. we were so loving each others company then and we even made diaries for ourselves to write what happened to us within the day and we exchange every time we meet.

after a month of my stay here he asked me if i had a period already and i said no. actually, my monthly periods are really irregular so i dont think of anything if they dont come on time.

mid of July, he asked me again if my period is here already and i said no again. maxado xang balisa at asked me to buy a pregnancy test. at pra matahamik n xa ay pinatulan ko na at bumili na ako ng PT. the next morning i made weewee and used it already. i waited for 5 minutes, i was so sleepy p nun den checked the results and it was positive. i called kurt right away and told him about it then i went back to sleep. i woke up after an hour and still cant believe if it is true so i just went on with my normal day routines and as if i have discovered nothing.

as weeks pass i can feel that i am getting bigger and super takaw at pala-jingle. it was just then than i realize that maybe i am really pregnant. i made a surprised visit to kurt to lessen my stress and to my shock i was given also a surprise! he told me right away that he already have a girlfriend. fcuk. he said that she is just her past time so that he wont miss me. but i didnt accept his fcuking nonsense reason because for me, cheating is still a CHEATING. and to my shock i broke up with him right away even if he doesnt want me to.

the next day, still thinking of him and thought of the things happening, i went back to eLbi and talked to him peacefully trying to understand each others side. i told him to broke up with her past time gf but he wont. i told him that she will not get me back if he will not break up with her. he asked me to wait for him and he will just do it in nice way in the right time but not now.

6-Aug-05, i went to elbi and we tried to abort it by some medication that people thought us to use it. unfortunately, i didnt work for me. and i didnt care if it doesnt because it is killing and i will forever blame myself for i have killed it, if ever. he got depressed and i just went on with my life alone thinking of my studies only leaving all the shits behind.

i prayed and told myself that whatever happens the baby will be alive. but for now i will finish my 1st sem then after it bahala n.

sept 05, he told me that they broke up already and he doesnt want any relationships anymore. i got depressed and got more larger.

oct 05, finals are over. me and my mom talked about my getting big tummy. she showed me support khit n sobrang tghirap kmi. i was so happy after that day. it was a big help for me that my family is behind me.

nov 05, kurts mom arrived from dubai. mom talked to her about us and my baby. her mom said that kurt told her that he is not sure if it is his. we tried to make some arrangements for financial supprot but nothing came.

dec 05, christmas season, trying to move on and get some financial support but it was nothing came. mom told me to forget about them and we will be able to do this ourselves and they will never see my baby. i felt so blessed and courage came to me. we went to an OB for my first pre-natal check-up. i had an ultrasound but didnt saw the sex of the baby. it was so fun viewing the baby from my tummy. the doctor said that i maybe going to deliver it on february.

jan 06, waiting for february cause im feeling so big na! ang bigat pa sobra!

27-Jan-06, my eLbi friends visited me here to see the truth and support me n rin...ng sleepover cla samin den the next day birthday ni mommie. her amigas surprised her brought home lots of food. mom was happy kya happy n rin kmi khit na ang dmi nyang problemang iniisip at alam kong isa n ako dun.

29-Jan-06, i felt so bloated that morning because of the food i ate on mom's bday. i made poopoo tapos nwala n ung skit ng tsan. during lunch time ayan n nmn. nung hapon aun nnmn. tapos for the 4th time ulit prang pupupu n nmn ako pero wla ng lumabas. later on i felt some cramps but i just igmored it. around 7pm the cramps got worst and told mommie about it. she said i have to ready my stuffs for the hospital in case that this is the moment. few hours later it just got more worst! at ang sakit n sobra. d n aq mkatulog nun pkatapos.

30-Jan-06, super sakit n tlga! mommie and my tita elda and ate steph accompanied me to the hospital. got in around 10am and delivered it 4:26pm. my labor was 21 hours in total. it was a baby gurl. the moment she got out and cried, my tears just fell on my cheeks i dont know why.

then that's it! from then on, we tried living and looking forward to the present and thought of our little angel as a luck for the family. and now, i guess everything is fine already after all those shortcomings in our lives we didnt give up. i just love my folks! i thank God for them.

for the people who forget about us, we also tried to forget about them.

Mamita nica and dada Gerald made visit to my bo0p nung Wednesday kc wla clang pasok d p nila nkikita ang kanilang inaanak bung summer kc d rin cla nkapunta nung binyag! Haha. They nid to make bawi just like my bo0p’s other mamitas and dadas.. haha lucky bo0p of mine kc ang dami nila..hihi. sbi nga ng iba pwde ng negosyo, astig! Easy money dw kc. Pero kung alam lng nila kakahiya din un noh! Hmf!

* * *

I just want to share m y sister’s inborn of being literally slow at things. In everything she does in her life she just does it very slow even her fastest way of doing things or rushing things up her is still slow. She is so time-consuming, always late, and doesn’t know what fast pace means! I just wish her that she will change her sluggish attitude because she needs it especially if she’s dreaming of going to UP in her college. I can’t even imagine if she can take all the rushes needed to be in. napakaarte pa kung kumilos minsan, prang hindi rin marunong mgmadali at tumakbo at times n kailangan na.

She is about to submit her upcat form today and I have been reminding her always to take note of all the things she will be needing for submission yet it didn’t work for her! And I don’t why it did so because it works every time you do it,aight?! But for her…EWAN. She seems more disorganize than me and so0o impossible to believe.

And because of her not being in her normal state of mind because can’t take the rush, she went to her review school just to ask for help in her application form. Her plan was to be able to accomplish everything today and to submit it too at the registrar. But look at the time and the rain! I don’t think she will be able to meet her expectations, all these because of her kabagalan!!! Good luck to her UP dreams. I know she will make it I just don’t know if she can take it! I mean if she can maintain it there.

* * *

It’s, raining again.

As in right this moment, I can hear kulog and the patak of the ulan! I know I’m big already and almost an adult already but I’m telling you, I am scared of kidlat! I hate it ever time I see one. I can’t help but think of who are what did it hit sa dulo nung kidlat… haay. Can’t resist but I always go beside my mom to sleep. But now that I have my own bo0p nut still cannot understand maybe I can still do that..hihi..i just have to bring bo0p with me..haha..

I wonder what’s the name of the bagyo right now?!... hmmm..

rainy moments

This year isn’t our first to experience rainy season here in our new crib! We’ve been here a year ago already. Pero bkit bigla kming ngka-falls sa likod ng bahay nmin!!! Grabe as in prang umuulan n sa loob ng bahay… buti n lng sa 3rd floor kmi, pero khit n dba?! Who knows, bka later on bumagsak n ung kisame dhil sa ulan!! NO NO NO!!! so what we did was we moved all the stuffs near the wall and cleaned everything all over again and when the rain stopped we put everything back to place. On the other side of it, I thought of maybe we’re just being reminded of cleaning the dirty kitchen! Haha..

* * *

Every year we really wait for the rainy season to cover up for the heat that’s been cookin’ us every summer. The chilly feeling and rain drops’ sound very disquieting, a good time to sleep and relax all day even without electric fan or aircon behind you. haha. A perfect time to find a hugging buddy too, a moment for couples to hang out together even if it’s raining, you get a chance to get closer to each other because of the weather itself! Ewww, very mushy but ssuuuuuweeetttt..hihi can’t even wait for your boyfriend to hold your umbrella for you all the way to where you are going so that u can stick your body near him.. haha yummy..

* * *

the weather was so hot and the sun so up high then all of a sudden it just rains. It’s like two weather conditions at the same time; they say that meron daw kinakasal n tikbalang. I don’t know if it’s true but grew up with it. Whatever to the tikbalang, I just hate it when that happens because every time it does, it’s so hot and the rain drops make it even worst by making me feel sticky…ewwww.

* * *

yesterday night it rained again but not as extra ordinary when we had water falls at home. But then we still had the falls even if it wasn’t hard. I just can’t imagine what will happen next if it will be a BAGYO! Baka wala n kming bubong dhil cnira n pala ng ulan! omg, I wish that wouldn’t happen. Kainis lalo kc c mama wlang pkialam kung d ko pa xa sinumbatan d p xa kikilos..as if kunwari wala lng ngyayari s knya! Hmf!

two days before classes

Sunday is really a family day for us. Waking up around 10 in the morning, eat breakfast; watch TV and read newspaper are our day starters, as time ticks and before to end the day we all go to church always at Sundays too. But today, because classes’ starts on the 13th already and my siblings still don’t have their stuffs, we went shopping! Wo0ho0o. Its was sad though because the shopping made was only intended for school functions and no baby functions allowed =( but it was still fun because baby and I shopped with them. To keep us busy and not to get bored we went to baby accessories section and made some canvassing of prices and compares them to Divisoria prices and the result was obviously in favour of Divisoria! As expected!

This is the first time baby made gala around the mall. And speaking of Bell, she got her first fall accident today resulting to a big bukol because of her lolang malandi! I don’t know how it happened I just heard something hit on the floor then baby wept looking so pitiful. Good thing we have a ref already and we have our own ice and the bukol was relieved.

* * *

Everybody is so busy because of school issues and me, nothing… just at home playing with my baby and my mom working her ass off to supply all our needs. I’m bored and tired of being like this. I need something to keep my mind working and at the same time I really want to help mom. I just hope that there is one job there in Araneta waiting for me! Hehe...astig noh, ung job pa nghihintay skin..hihihi

* * *

It’s June and its rainy season already and poor me. My allergies are coming! I hate this season because my allergic rhinitis is attacking me again I cannot sleep because of this. I need rest. Waaaaaaa.

Crap. I’m here again with same thoughts in my mind. I can’t help it. I don’t know how to stop this thoughts passing by and reminds me of him and her new preggy bitchy girlfriend making me so bothered and jealous to think that a gossip came to me that she will get financial support from him in Dubai. DAMN! so unfair. and to ask, what's with her that i don't, i mean is their any??!! i think i deserve much of somthing like that than she does.

DAMN! i feel so desperate already on him! i can't take this anymore. i need something or maybe someone to take him out of my head and of my heart na rin(cge na i admit!). i can't live any longer being like this on him and her biatch. i still have many plans and things to clear up in my life to make my life easier in the future and he's not supposed to be included in it only me and my cutie baby. so please, somebody HELP! waaaaaaaaaa.

motherly thoughts

I went through my friendster account and saw a post in the bulletin which really struck me and I don’t know why!

From: mallow full

Date: Friday, 9 June, 2006 7:19 PM
Subject: baby ko lng mhal ko!
Message: baby luv you so much mmmwah...mis you!baby
kurt_10

Sh*t. I feel so sh*t. I don’t know why. I want to kill them both and remove them in my head as if I never knew them but I don’t know how! It’s been almost a year that I’m trying to that… but since then nothing happened. I guess what’s been happening from the past was so unreal of me thinking of that I’ve totally overcame the issue about them but I guess it’s just me hiding from the reality of what I’m trying to hide to everyone that I still have some interest on him. But I think that’s how it is because of the fact that he is the damn father of my baby and I’m still hoping that everything will be ok from the both us and then I won’t be worrying anymore for the future circumstances whenever my baby will be looking for her father.

I don’t know what to tell my little angel by the time she will ask about it. I just don’t know in what manner I will tell her the truth or maybe just tell her lies to not make her feel bad because of the real dilemma that might feel her anxious about it and I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want my baby to grow up the way I did, no father!

...may i take your order please? Ü

Summer is ending and classes are starting already but for me all these are senseless because I’ve been having my own summer or should I say stayed at home for more than 6 months already. Well that’s because of my pregnancy. Anyway, I’m so bored even if I have my baby keeping me busy all the time. I feel so useless, I want to use my time wisely while waiting for 2nd semester to pass by. Actually, I’m thinking of finding a job for myself to help at least in the expenses of my baby to lessen the burden of my mom. It’s so ironic that how a small a baby is how big the expense is. Can you just imagine that? Whew! I just thank God for my mom who is really great though sometimes she so annoying and …bsta! About the job nga pala, I’m thinking of working as a service crew in a fast food chain. I’ve been dreaming of doing that when I was a kid. They always smile at you even if they don’t know you and say ‘Hello good morning ma’am, may I take your order please?’ or make the food for the people who are so hungry then pays for it because they love it especially during peak hours like lunch time or dinner time. I enjoy the crowd because the more people there is the more work is too. I love it when I’m serving others and at the end you’ll see they’re satisfied of what you did. I feel so relaxed and in great every time I do things like that at home what more if I’ll be in a food business wherein there are more people to serve. Doesn’t it sound fun?? I made my resume already in preparation for my dream to be a service crew but it’s not yet finished because honestly speaking, I don’t know what to put in it. I still have to wait for mom’s extra time (if there is) to help me with it. I admit that I’m so not good about writing and those stuffs. I don’t care if my English is wrong I just what to express my feelings in a way that no one is bothered. Haay, I’m so looking forward to this job I want. I wish I can find one. I hardly need it!

as I surf the net and pass through one site to site i tried something and got something co0l and i just want to share it and i don't care if you won't like it. hehe

ildziedoodlez is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested.

N POISON

and this...

I	Irresistible
L	Lovable
D	Dignified
Z	Zippy

and by the way i got this all from http://www.go-quiz.com maybe you would like to try and find out for urself and have fun just i did haha. silly me.

june start

classes are about to start again. students are getting ready their stuffs to school. goin' shopping and evrything new. too bad i'm not one of them. i went to UST and talked to Ms. Tio Cuison(Head Prof. in HRM & Tourism) to ask for advice if i can go back and study again. she said that i can be re admitted again but it would be better if i'll return on 2nd sem cause it wil lessen my expenses and loads too. hmmm...well, atleast i still have my slot aight?!. thank God because there is no other school I want to enroll to.

anyway, speaking of enrollment, my younger sister is not yet enrolled and we both don't know if we are to blame mom because she's our mom. ofcourse!hihi Kc nmn c mommy halos nalilimutan n nya dpat lhat ng priorities nya dahil sa knyang boyfriend n yata sa internet! hindi nmn nmin xa masabihan kc tinutulunagn kmi nung kanyang boyfriend sa financial status. kso kc prang may mali, d ko lng alam kung ano! all these time i just pray to Him n sana nothings going to be wrong with mommy handling situations in the future kc palagi nlng xang ngiinternet at ngchachat at nkikipagusap dun sa errww n bf nya! She even makes us get out of the room just to talk to her errww bf! and scolds us if we make any interference to their conversation! its so unfair, we are relatives and the one on the fone is just a bf! me and my sister are just trying to comply with her because the guy makes our mom happy. but still i'm worried but i don't know what to do and i don't know who to talk to about it for help. haay... i have no choice nmn kc ang tagal n rin ni mommy na separated at tlgang kming mgkakapatid ang knyang focus kya she became such a workaholic mom. bsta watever will happen i know we are guided. i guess i'll just keep my fingers crossed that nothing bad will disappoint me and my siblings and affect us mentally. we're used to have one parent lng kasi eh...