still lonely!

wake up around 6am to play and do all things necessary with my baby den to myself. after perking my day up , to the office right away until 11am then back home to freshen up myself for my 1pm classes until 6pm. by 7pm im home na. but usually i still go out with friends until 9-10pm is the latest. but if not, i just make assignments or play with my bell for relaxation.

i dreamed of being back to school ever since i stopped! because i was lonely den because i was home-bound all year... but why is it dat i'm still feeling lonely even if im now bak to skul and seeing my friends everyday and my baby too. i can still even work after all my school works and projects!

i dont know wats rily missing! i thought if ill be back to skul my depression wil end. but why this feeling is till here in me!

i hate this feeling already! it makes me feel like i cant breathe sometimes! tangina tlga! d ko n alam! lhat n ng effort in luking for my hapines ay gnwa ko nah! kso prang wla nmng ngyayari..

i realy dont know!

happy. lonely. pissed.

HAPPY. im happy because im back to school and i think things are goin fine too for me as well. Happy 'coz now, i can always see my friends. I can make gimmicks after school hours. I'm not worrying anything but myself and schook works anymore. I can do shyguys agen adn drink sometimes. I have the things i have not a year ago. Im back to who i was before.but..

LONELY. I feel something is missing. Im missing my baby when im at school. Nothing makes me feel groove and move faster. Im feeling bored despite of the happiness. Cant think of what is making me feel this way. im feeling stucked!

PISSED. 'coz i dont know how to end this feeling!

SHIT.

im officially enrolled again!

officially enrolled. meaning im an official estudyante to at the same time. i still cant believe that im actualy bak to school. nothing much happened this week. all professors was boring and always absent this week! however, ive been meeting new friends and classmates which is cool. anywya, our uniform is kinda cool too 'coz it makes us look like a flight stewardess.. i love it actually.

on the first day last november 6, 2006 i made an absent 'coz i now for sure there will be no prof that will attend to us. i just enrolled instead and completed the things i needed.

nov 7, my first day!!! my first time in my corporate look uniform.. super init!!! but my new batchmates was fine. they were super friendly to me. i can see that they've been really close to each other already after one semester only. it makes me reminisce the past and miss my h2 batchmates before.

today is the last day of the week. hope to see all my professors today! haha

estudyante again!

OMG!!! still in the state of 'is this true'?? tomorrow is gonna be is the start of reality in my life! I'll be both a student and a working mom!!! who0o** I dont know what to say and to expect to what wil happen nor to myself. What bothers me is how will I be able to earn the same as before when I was full time working in the future. I cant focus my mind on things I really want to do because my baby is killing my head on thinking ways for me to make money easily! haay, I cant do this all on my own for now because I know for myself that Im incapacitated to work to other companies 'coz im only 1st year. almost all of them needs a minimun requirement of atleast 2nd yr college! I running out of ideas already and beginning to lose hope! This cant be, but this is my destiny.. I dont know what to do anymore! My head is blank! SH*T